It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since JibJab launched This Land, its first presidential campaign parody starring Dubya and John Kerry. The parody was as viral as anything that has spread across the internet since Hotmail defined the category when it launched back in the day. Well hold on to your banjo, ’cause JibJab just launched its most recent parody, Time For Some Campaignin’, on the 2008 presidential campaign starring today’s cast of political characters. While I still think “This Land” is funnier, “Time For Some Campaignin’” is LOL.  

What is somewhat disturbing to me is that our presidential candidates and their BFFs provide us endless material and opportunities to make fun of them. I’m sure JibJab’s biggest challenge was deciding what — out of hundreds of ridiculous things — they should include in the parody. What does this say about our country? Simmer down now, I am not going to turn this into a political discussion, but it is really unbelievable that our leaders and their actions can be so laughable. One may argue that it’s JibJab creative genius that makes the clip so outrageously funny. While I believe this to be partially true, I think the sheer volume of parody topics our political icons generate is the real source of entertainment. Both Jib Jab videos are at least two minutes long which is considered “Gone With The Wind” in today’s viral world, yet I’m sure editing it to only two minutes was excruciatingly difficult for its creators.

Let’s look at Sarah Silverman’s “I’m F***ing Matt Damon” video — yet another “Gone With The Wind”-like production. While there were many different funny scenes in the video, there was only one comedic thread and it was around her f***ing Matt Damon. In JibJab’s latest video, the comedic threads are so vast you could weave a rug big enough to cover Karl Rove and Dick Cheney’s asses (or heads) and that’s no small feat. Seriously, the points used to amplify humor range from war to recession to bad mortgages to infidelity to dozens of other serious topics. And although it’s been eight years of sliding down the slippery slope, you gotta love the fact that we all still laugh. Why? War and the economy aren’t funny. Do you think it’s the Boiled Frog effect – after years of hearing things like Bush’s quote on “using the google” to Al Gore telling Wolf Blitzer, “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet” (yikes!), we are all just unfazed by today’s political dopiness? Let’s face it, these are serious topics that are not inherently funny, yet we still laugh.

What’s your perspective?

My serene morning on the Cape was just destroyed by a CNN Breaking News text message that stated “Former White House press secretary Tony Snow has died of cancer. He was 53.” No. Not again. Although he had most recently been on the other side of the media fence than Tim Russert, like Russert Snow was someone I admired in both my professional and personal life and his death has had a stop-me-in-my-tracks, tear-inducing effect on me.

Politically speaking, Snow and I couldn’t have been more diametrically opposed. It would be a newsworthy event for me to ever find something that would cause me to verbally support President Bush and I certainly can’t think of anything including $10,000,000 that would get me to work in his administration. Moreover, Snow was an ex-Fox news guy, a media property that causes me to react out loud — even when alone – to the outrageously biased news they present to their viewers. 

So why do I have such respect and strong feelings towards Snow that I am still teary as I type this? It’s simple. I admired him for the honest human being he was and the consistency he showed when it came to putting his family first through actions, not just lip service.  Snow’s candor and commitment to this priority was front and center when he explained his resignation as Bush’s press secretary through his honest reason that he needed to make more money to help his family, which included kids approaching college.

I will never forget the recent NBC interview with Snow when David Gregory asked him about an essay Snow’s sixteen-year-old son wrote about his Dad’s cancer. Snow became flooded with emotion and could barely speak. It took what felt like ten minutes for Snow to compose himself and explain his emotions by saying, ”It’s great to love people this much.” A simple yet amazingly powerful line that said it all. I have had 100+ similar floods of emotion induced by a family-related situation (happy and sad) and my kids tease me about how much I cry over  things where most people would never shed a tear. However, in forty-five years I have never been able to explain my reaction in as eloquently yet concise response as Snow did in that moment. In a lifetime, I will never forget that line.

It’s ironic that Snow went form being a member of the media to being a press secretary who was often spinning to the media. Technically speaking Snow would fall under the label of “PR person” — a term that can have tremendous negative association for many media people. Snow is a great example of how we should never stereotype anyone. He was a PR guy who was a exceptionally decent human being, no different than the majority of PR people I know. 

Unlike snow that falls silently in the winter, Tony Snow’s passing will be quite explosive. The world lost a great human being today and the PR industry lost a great icon. Sad news on all fronts.

Fortune writer Scott Moritz should “Learn from Stern.” Howard Stern that is. In his article that appeared yesterday entitled Howard Stern May Have A Sirius Dilemma Moritz has a fundamental and serious — no pun intended — problem with the entire premise of his story.

The net/net point Moritz amplifies throughout the article is how if Sirius and XM finally merge that they’ll be running out of cash and Howard Stern will never be able to negotiate anything close to the sweet $700 million, five-year deal he has now that expires in 2010. Earth to terrestrial radio listeners like Moritz…Howard is not coming back. Anyone that listens to the Howard Stern Show knows that he is done with getting up at a ridiculous hour in the morning to do these daily shows. He has more than paid his dues and his fans know that.

With an air of arrogance, Moritz exclaims, “the shock jock may be in for a shock of his own when his deal expires in 2010….Stern could go back to AM-FM radio, but even then it’s unlikely he’d pocket anywhere near his Sirius pay.” Ummmm..I don’t think so fella. Obviously Moritz has never listened to a Howard Stern show. Stern is notorious for jumping on the terrestrial radio pig pile. He despises the outrageous censorship that exists in terrestrial radio world and in a gajillion years would never go back. His audience would lose all respect for him given the rage he has spewed — and rightfully so — at this type of overreaching censorship.

Moritz must have done something right to end up at a well respected magazine like Fortune. But clearly he has done something wrong in researching the facts behind this story. Maybe he should have spoken to a Stern fan — or even better, Howard Stern himself — and asked them what they thought about his story’s premise. He would have learned in a nano-second what all of Stern’s listeners know…Howard is done when his contract is done. The article should have focused on what will happen to the Sirius/XM members like me when Howard leaves. I may bail and I’m sure I’m not alone.

The funny thing is there was a bit of cockiness to Moritz’s tone throughout the article. I wonder who should be more cocky – the guy that made $700 million in five years or the dude who probably won’t make a fraction of that in his lifetime.

Would you consider this sloppy journalism?

Have you heard about The Naked Cowboy suing M&Ms for trademark infringement? This dude may be naked but he sure wasn’t exposed.

The net/net of the story is that Robert Burck, aka The Naked Cowboy, sued Mars in April for $6 million in federal court in NY. The allegation was trademark infringement for an M&Ms video billboard that Burck claimed used his likeness. Clearly Mars underestimated the good looking guy in his underwear who looks like he walked right out of a Calvin Klein ad.

Let’s look at the facts. The Naked Cowboy only wears tighty whities, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, and plays the guitar in Times Square.  The blue M&M in the ad only wears tighty whities, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, and plays the guitar in Times Square. Houston we got a problem. To make matters worse, the M&M video played on a continuous loop every few minutes over a nine month period. Ruh-roh!

In this case, naked does not mean dumb. Burck had the smarts to register trademarks for “The Naked Cowboy” name and likeness. And the dude appears to have a little Web 2.0 flowing through his exposed veins. In addition to his website that sells his famous skivvies, you can download his music on iTunes, check him out on his podcast, MySpace, and Naked Cowboy TV. This guy knows branding better than the candy guys trying to rip him off. He is as entrepreneurial as every venture-backed company on the planet. And (cowboy) hats off to him ’cause he did it all on his own. Yeehaw!

This past week, U.S. District Court Judge Denny Chin let the cowboy continue singing his song. In a long and at times humorous ruling, Judge Chin didn’t let the candy melt in his hand as he tossed out Mars’ attempt to dismiss The Naked Cowboy’s lawsuit. The judge noted that Burck has appeared as The Naked Cowboy in numerous movies, TV shows, video games and has a track record of licensing his name and likeness for endorsements, including a Super Bowl XLI ad for Chevrolet. Three cheers for the underdog…and his underwear! You can bet if I put on an M&Ms suit and started running around selling cowboy hats under their brand, they would have their 3 Muskateer lawyers slap a lawsuit on me and certainly would be Snicker(ing) as they tried to destroy me. I hope The Naked Cowboy is awarded a sum of money large enough to launch his likeness into the Milky Way. 

Do you think Mars should pony up some money to The Naked Cowboy?

In the spirit of Web 2.0’s “power to the people” attitude, I am going to try a little test. After listening to half a dozen people tell me — ok bitch at me — to try this I have finally acquiesced. My agency is hiring PR people at all levels. In support of eating our own dog food and washing it down with our own KoolAid, I am posting the ad on this blog to see what type of response it gets. I didn’t like the idea of using my blog for anything like this, but I’m over it. A large chunk of my audience is in the PR industry, so my hope is it will have laserlike reach. Pass it around if you know anyone interested. Finding a terrific hire through a blog post would make a great story. You know us PR freaks…it’s all about the story. Rock on!

Here is the ad:

Looking for PR pros who want to get paid to work in Web 2.0 world. One stipulation: must recognize a ”tweet” isn’t a bird, a “wall” isn’t a Pink Floyd song, ”poked” isn’t perverted and a “podcast” isn’t fishing on a lily pad.  

Kel & Partners is a leading Web 2.0 marketing & PR agency for consumer & emerging technology brands. The outrageous media coverage we deliver our clients has made us insanely busy.  

We’re looking for PR talent at all levels who want to drink the Kool-Aid & work in the Web 2.0 universe at our soon-to-be-opened Boston (we’re in Westborough now) & Seattle offices.     

If you’re a Web 2.0-obsessed, savvy, go-getter experienced in media relations & want to vote obscure, not newsworthy pitches off the island-give Kel a call directly at 508.366.2099 x111 or blast her an email at kel@kelandpartners.com. All inquiries will be kept highly confidential. 

Life at Kel & Partners is one of wildly talented employees, fully immersed in Web 2.0. We don’t just encourage Work/Life balance, we demand it. Benefits are full & satisfying, work atmosphere is fun & funky. Bring your iPod, add it to the mix.   

See for yourself. Check us out at kelandpartners.com. 

Come play in our Web 2.0 world.  

Years ago, in old school corporate America, many unscrupulous companies would “dumpster dive” in an attempt to dig up information on their competitors. In a business context, dumpster diving is when someone picks though a competitor’s trash in an attempt to unearth discarded paperwork that holds insight about the company’s IP, employees, customers, financials, product plans, whatever.

Recently I experienced what I view as Web 2.0’s version of dumpster diving from a competitor willing to go to any length to try to encroach on my business. In a Web 2.0 world, dumpster diving involves poaching a competitor’s friends on social media sites like Facebook or picking off, one-by-one, a competitor’s followers and those they follow on Twitter. No joke. Poach eggs not friends is my theory. After getting a heads up from a few people that my friends were being poached on Facebook, I had to go in and make “view friends” not visible to anyone who wasn’t already my friend. This prevents those people who travel on their belly from identifying all my contacts and then friending them as a way to get into my biz world. Of the hundreds of friends I have on Facebook, probably half of them are business contacts — clients, prospects, media, analysts, etc. 

The Twitter incident was even more ridiculous because this competitor was actually monitoring my tweets while we were competing for the same piece of business. So not cool. I believe in a Twitter world, that bird would probably be viewed as the lowly and desperate vulture. Because of this vulture, I now have a lock on my Twitter account, so I have to approve people who want to follow me.

I have a number of competitors as friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter. Contrary to the media’s perspective that all PR people are slimeballs, I have some great, trustworthy friends who are CEO’s and employees of competitive PR agencies. These are awesome people with whom I trust with blind faith when it comes to never crossing the dumpster diving line. In some cases, I even reroute new business leads to these competitors if it is not a good fit for my agency.

Is there any more of a pussy than the person/company who is afraid to compete based on the merits of their work? Results are all that matter. In a PR environment that means one thing: securing outrageous media coverage for your clients.

With any luck these Web 2.0 dumpster divers will end up in a landfill, with their second cousin, the rat.

Have you experienced any Web 2.0 dumpster diving? 

Like millions of people, I am so stunned and saddened by the death of Tim Russert –truly blown away on so many levels. For years, I have admired Tim for who he was as a human being above and beyond all his professional accomplishments. Today, I find myself consumed with tears for the loss of this exceptional man.

Tim was a guy who wore his blue collar background like a badge of honor, front and center for all to see. In the world of media where so many people work hard to project the perfect image, Tim was Tim regardless of whether he was moderating Meet The Press, joking around with The Today Show hosts, having an audience with the Pope, laughing with the boys in a bar in his hometown Buffalo, or receiving a pitch from an enthusiastic PR person. In spite of his success, Tim never wavered from the respect that was core to the fabric of his existence.

Anyone who knew Tim — even if only as a viewer connected via a television screen — knew he loved his family and wasn’t embarrassed to express his feelings. As spring approached this year, we all watched as Tim began gushing about the upcoming graduation of his son Luke from Boston College. While he often beamed when immersed in political coverage, the energy and glow he radiated when telling a story about his family outshone all other moments in his life. Footage of Tim with his Dad (aka Big Russ) would immediately ignite a smile on anyone.

Personally, as a political and news junkie, Tim was often the guy giving me my fix. Tim’s standout characteristic on a professional level was that he was tough, but fair. Relative to his peers, Tim could have tripped over the bar when it came to uncompromising fairness. Yet day after day and night after night, Tim sailed over the bar and set an example for all else to follow.  

Tim was a devout Catholic yet carried his faith in a way that was personal and respectful. As someone who is agnostic, I truly appreciated the way Tim’s faith was forever present yet without being intrusive on others. I can’t help but think about how much peace would exist in the world today if others adopted a similar approach to their religious beliefs. 

What things do you remember about Tim Russert?

(come on peeps, get your minds out of the gutter)

I am always in awe of the entrepreneurs who in their brilliance create a movement that touches millions and millions of people every single day. And they literally change the world in doing so. Seriously, I love what I do for a living, but come on…I hardly impact millions of lives on a daily basis. While I play in the Web 2.0 sandbox, I’m not the one who built it and I know my place in its ecosystem. We all know the cache entrepreneurs like Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook and Marc Andreessen of Ning. But it’s the lesser known, mild-mannered entrepreneurs who go about their daily lives in a below the radar screen manner whom I put on pedestals. People like Max Levchin, the founder, CEO and chairman at Slide. If you have ever thrown a sheep, or posted on a FunWall, you have Levchin to thank for it. Slide is like the “Intel Inside” of social networks. Sites like Facebook, MySpace, Bebo and Friendster have companies like Slide to thank when it comes to their stickiness.

We have all heard many self-anointed individuals refer to themselves as “serial entrepreneurs,” but I think Levchin is king of that crib. Slide is the world’s largest publisher of social entertainment applications in the world. Over 170 million peeps interact with Slide products every month. Slide apps reach 200+ countries and 100 SuperPokes are thrown every second! Prior to Slide, Levchin incubated Yelp, a company that became synonymous with the new category called City Guides. Levchin was also the founder of PayPal…hmmmm…yeah, I think you’ve heard of those guys. Levchin sold PayPal to eBay for an estimated $1.5 billion at the age of 26. At 26 I would have been out of my mind to get $150 for something I sold at a garage sale.  

Yet if you go to Google News and search Max Levchin, you only get 23 results compared to a similar search for Mark Zuckerberg that yielded 522 results. Given the wildly successful ride Levchin has had at such a young age, it is absolutely amazing he is not all over the media, but once you hear him speak, you might understand why. I heard Levchin interviewed recently at a Web 2.0 conference. He was so modest, boyish, soft-spoken and thoughtful in his responses, he looked like he would be more comfortable raising sheep than throwing them. The audience fell in love with him because he was just a nice guy who happened to launch a handful of kick-ass businesses – which he completely down-played throughout the conversation. His persona was more impressive than his accomplishments and therein lies my love for him.

What entrepreneurs do you admire most and why?

Before I decided to write this post, I called one of my Web 2.0 savvy friends and asked her if she knew what “crowdsourcing” is. Although I knew the answer, I wanted to ping her in hopes she didn’t know which is usually a good sign that a blog post will have broad appeal. When she responded, “yeah that’s what you do at a concert,” I knew I had something.

For those of you who may think it is something you do at a concert, crowdsourcing is a hip, new term that essentially means outsourcing a traditional task/project to an undefined large group of people (e.g. the world) in the form of an open call. When you think of Web 2.0 and its inherent mass collaboration power, crowdsourcing is a subset of this collaboration in that it is directed towards a single initiative in response to a direct request. The term was coined by Jeff Howe in a 2006 Wired magazine article. Although the term has been around for two years, it doesn’t appear to have achieved the mass recognition even though it is all about the masses.

In February of this year, Spreadshirt, the etailer and manufacturer of customized clothing, launched its new logo which was the result of a global crowdsourcing contest. The winning design was chosen from 2,800 entries submitted from 45 countries. Let me tell you, there is not a design firm on the planet that would give you 2,800 logo options. They would have terminated you after 50 and forever referred to you as ”the client from hell that couldn’t find a logo they liked out of 50 freakin’ designs.” 

A few other examples of crowdsourcing include:

• When Steve Fosset’s plane went down, 50,000 people scoured high res satellite images from Digital Globe via Amazon Mechanical Turk. Unfortunately, the plane was never found.
• Earlier this year, Texas announced its plan to install 200 cameras along its Mexican border and invited anyone with an internet connection to become virtual border patrol agents.
• Galaxy Zoo, a user-generated science project, lets anyone document and classify a million galaxies from the Sloan Digital Sky.

When I sat back and started to wonder where crowdsourcing is going to take us, I started to get a nose bleed, so I stopped. I’ll leave that pontification up to the self-annointed geniuses who have already figured out Web 4.0.

While crowdsourcing has no shortage of discussion points when it comes to economic, social and ethical implications, you gotta admit it is very cool and a heck of a lot safer than “crowdsurfing.” Just ask my 18-year-old daughter who ended up with a concussion for six months after she was dropped from six feet while crowdsurfing at a concert. Don’t ask.

What do you think about crowdsourcing?

Whenever I get a chance, I love to try a sip of any new flavor of Web 2.0 Kool-Aid being served. Gotta admit until yesterday I never drank it from Utterz. Utterz has been on my radar screen for quite some time. Utterz CEO, Michael Bayer, is a friend of mine and fellow sushi lover. Given Twitter’s recent rash of outages, I thought I would go over and take a sip of what Utterz has been serving. And I like what I’m tasting.

My simplest definition is that Utterz is “Twitter on steroids with voice, video, picture and text capability.” I’m sure that line makes Michael cringe because in reality, Utterz is so much more. Utterz takes microblogging to a whole new level by allowing its members to create a mashup blog post from anywhere in the world via their mobile phone. Member call 712-432-Mooo (6666) from their cell and record a voice utter. Within 10 minutes of calling in their utter, members can then send video, pictures, and/or text to go@utterz.com and Utterz will mash it all into a single post and put it on utterz.com. If ya’ want, Utterz will then feed the post to Twitter, Facebook and a bunch of other Web 2.0 play grounds. Way cool. 

The hump that I’m not sure I’ll ever get over with Utterz is that, like most people, I don’t like the sound of my own voice (note to self: call a therapist). The good news is you don’t have to use the voice feature. I love the thought of combining videos & photos to my mobile-based text microblogging and the opp to mash it all up into one blog post. Shazaam!

My challenge today is that having only been an Utterz member for 24 +/- hours, I’m lonely (note to self: schedule second therapy appointment). Unlike most PR people, I do not strive for mass followers on Twitter and mass friends on Facebook in order to feel a sense of self worth and importance. I tend to be very selective with the people I bring into my world. Quality over quantity. You will never see me following thousands of people on Twitter or Utterz, ’cause, guess what…it is physically impossible to do so. However, I am very lonely on Utterz because my friends/family/collegues are not there yet. Time to start pimpin’.

I think Utterz needs to simplify its positioning in order to achieve mass adoption (think: Twitter). My company has been immersed in Web 2.0 since 2005 through self-immersion and our Web 2.0 clients. When we launched Gather.com in 2005, we found the most effective line for media pitching purposes was to refer to Gather as the ”MySpace for Grown-Ups” (note: we couldn’t say “adults” because that made people think porn). While that wasn’t the language Gather used to describe themselves, it was a way to open the door and get instant attention and understanding from the media in three words, something considered nirvana in media relations. The Gather launch was wildly successful, as was the follow-on three years of media coverage. We evolved our single-pitch-line description to align with the natural evolution of Gather’s strategic direction. Utterz will have the same opp to evolve its positioning.

MySpace paved the way for social networking through its content-based approach. Facebook then came along and began eating MySpace’s lunch through its people-based approach. I think Utterz has the opp to do to Twitter what Facebook did to MySpace, they just need to tighten the messaging to reach the masses and then get it out there. Michael Bayer is absolutely, unequivocally one of the smartest people I know, so I have no doubt that will happen. He is also one of the funniest guys on the planet. That’s probably why the icon for the Utterz brand is a cow named Bessie. Moooooo…

Do you utter?

I’m a big believer in livin’ in the moment. Professionally and personally speaking that means being fully immersed in the Web 2.0 world. It’s almost a religion in my life. I am forever amazed and entertained at the Web 2.0 “nose bleed experts” who are already talking about Web 4.0. You know who I’m talking about. They position themselves as social media Gods, digital media gurus, and actually believe they are so clairvoyant and visionary that they can speak with great authority on Web 4.0 and even write a book about it. Yet these people don’t have a Facebook account, don’t blog and think twittering is something a bird does in the morning. They are so far removed from today’s Web 2.0 environment that they can only speak about broad, 50,000 foot topics that are usually so far from the truth that it is often times laughable. It’s like eating air. Ask a nose bleed expert about a “wall” and they start reminiscing about Pink Floyd. Ask them about a “tweet” and they tell you they’ll have ice cream. Ask them about getting “poked” and they’ll tell you it’s none of your business. Ask them about a podcast and they’ll tell you that’s what happens when your fishing bobber lands on a lily pad. Ask them about a “status update” and they call a meeting. Ask them about a “mini feed” and they tell you about the quick lunch they had. OK, you get the point.

Web 2.0 is alive and well contrary to these Nostradamus know-it-alls. Ask the real Web 2.0 experts like Max Levchin (Slide), Tim O’Reilly, (O’Reilly Media) and Marc Andreessen (Ning) and they will tell you Web 2.0 is not going away and to even speak about Web 3.0, never mind Web 4.0, is absurd. At O’Reilly’s recent Web 2.0 Expo in San Francisco, this subject was part of the opening keynote address. Think about what Web 2.0 is: the web as a platform, user-generated content, power to the people, aggregating the wisdom of crowds, software as a service, service above a single device and light business models. Yaaaauuhh (said in Bill Lumbergh’s tone of voice in the cult movie Office Space) I’m thinkin’ it’s here for a bit. Ah…I’m no genius and I went to a shitty state college (UMASS Dartmouth) but I wouldn’t bet on its demise anytime soon.  

Remember Lincoln’s quote: “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” Earth to Nostradamus with the nose bleed…Web 2.0 is all of the people all of the time. Careful what you say…it will define you forever unless you do something like win a Nobel Peace Prize for a documentary on global warming. Just ask Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet.  

What’s the most laughable Web X.0 prediction you have heard?

If you haven’t bought a Flip yet, finish reading this blog post and then go buy one immediately. It is the coolest technology product since the launch of the iPod. The Flip is a camcorder that’s about the size of a Treo, but thinner. It is the perfect product for shooting quick, down and dirty videos for social media purposes. All the things that make you nuts about traditional camcorders has not only been removed in the Flip, but they have elevated the bar to the point where they are giving the gorillas like Sony a run for their money.

Let’s start with the price. You can grab yourself a Flip for only $149. It runs on batteries, so you will never show up at your daughter’s championship game only to find out you didn’t charge your camcorder’s battery…’er…not that it ever happened to me. The storage allows for 1/2 hour to an hour of recording depending on the model. Unless you are serving lots of alcohol to them in a comfy chair, nobody wants to watch more than a 1/2 hour of any event you have recorded in your life no matter how thrilling it was for you personally. The hottest feature of all — that has now become the icon for the brand – is the “flip out USB key.” Gone are the tangled, USB cables that always managed to strip every drop of intelligence and patience from your body. The connector flips right out of the side of the Flip (think: VW key) and you can plug the entire Flip into your USB port. Shazaam! It really is brilliant. 

The Flip accessories totally rock. The “Action Mount” ($14.99) lets you mount the Flip to outdoor gear and things like handle bars and helmets (think: Jackass). You can even get an underwater case ($49.99) for your Flip, so you can bring it to the beach and/or on a boat — two places where funny things usually happen and you may want to catch on video…like when you take the kids fishing, they catch something and then you realize they are looking to you to get the hook out of the fish’s mouth or when your five year old does his first cast ever with his brand spankin’ new $200 fishing rod off the boat and lets go so the whole thing goes flying through the air and sinks to the bottom of Wellfleet harbor. Just random examples…’er…never happened to me or anything. The Flip comes in sizzlin’ hot colors including pink, lime green, orange, white, and black. It would make a great graduation gift for any high school or college student.

In less than a year Flip has sold 1,000,000+ units. Kel & Partners gave Flips to all our employees as a holiday gift last year and each of my three teenage kids got them for Christmas. It’s a great way to learn how great your daughter is at beer pong.  

Do you own a Flip?

I just had an experience that I have never had in the six years since I started my company. We were the top creative agency in a coast-to-coast search by a Boston-based emerging technology company. The piece of business would have been worth about $200,000/year. We had met previously with the CEO and senior marketing guy and emerged at the top of their list after an exhaustive search. These two guys were awesome — smart, deliberate, thoughtful and respectful. Equally as important, while they were both very successful, they knew they didn’t have all the answers and were looking for a partner to help them build their brand. All their previous marketing experiences had failed miserably and they were, rightfully so, a bit gun shy.

The purpose of this second meeting was to give the COO an opportunity to meet my team. Enter arrogant and ignorant. This guy had a chip on his shoulder from the moment he walked into the room. He was abrasive, condescending, rude and just plain out of touch. Because I really like the CEO and marketing guy, I continued onward for about an hour covering everything from our approach to strategy/positioning to branding. During this hour, the COO refused to look directly at anyone on my team and appeared irritated. Finally, I asked him if he had any questions. He went on a self-centered, know-it-all rant about how successful he was and how we didn’t have a clue about his business or marketing. It was during this diatribe that he told me there was no such thing as Web 2.0 (note to self: remember to tell Facebook, Ning & Wikipedia). As his spewing continued, he then inaccurately referred to Web 2.0 as “Internet 2.” Huh? During this whole scene he was whipping out collateral and articles about how he was really the second coming of Christ and me and my team were a bunch of dumb-asses. His insecurity continued to rear its ugly head as he rattled off all the successful companies he had worked at. I had enough. I asked him how long he was at the company to which he replied, “Three years.” I told him, “Clearly your approach hasn’t worked.” I then said, “Dude, I can’t help you and this meeting is over.” Buh-bye!

And as he walked out the door, I had an epiphany. The common denominator to this company’s miserable marketing experiences was this bonehead. They will never have a positive experience as long as this guy touches anything marketing related. He is out of touch with today’s communications environment and doesn’t have a clue about marketing.  

The most gratifying moment for me was when I stepped into my office and twittered: “just met with the most abrasive, arrogant dick on the planet & asked him to leave my office cause my peeps didn’t need his crap — yeehaw!”  The responses I have received to this twitter have been fantastic. I have created an awesome environment for my employees and I will never allow such disrespect to affect their worlds. If he worked for me I would have fired his ass on the spot.

In addition to having a roster bursting with Web 2.0 clients, my company also works with a lot of large companies who are trying to get their arms around Web 2.0. You would be absolutely stunned at how many of these titans are clueless about how to respond to the Web 2.0 tsunami. Unfortunately, their marketing people continue to come to work and approach marketing the way they have year after year, in spite of the fact that the world has changed and Web 2.0 is the new ruler. They work within their comfort zone that is usually framed by traditional marketing.

One of the excuses I hear over and over is that they don’t have any budget for Web 2.0 initiatives. They hide behind this statement as a means of deflecting from the real issue which is that they wouldn’t know what Web 2.0 is if it came up and bit them in the…’er…well you know where I’m going with this. Most of these employees are good people trying to do the best they can on behalf of their company. Many are just paralyzed by the “Web 2.0 fear factor” of not even knowing where to begin. The truth is they really don’t know how they would fund any Web 2.0 programs from their already shrinking marketing budget.

When working with a titan-like client who has this budgeting perspective, my “Web 2.0 Dough” advice is always the same. Web 2.0 should not require any incremental budget. Period. The company should look at its existing marketing budget and reallocate a percentage away from traditional marketing programs and towards Web 2.0 programs. For the companies whose cultures are slow to change, I suggest the percentage of budget redirection be small but meaningful. I encourage people to just go ankle deep in the Web 2.0 pool. What normally happens is once they have seen the ROI on the spend, they are quick to want to move more towards the deep end of the pool. Measurable results are a great way to get the whole company to join the Web 2.0 pool party. It’s also funny to see how that marketing person (from marketing managers to CMOs) goes from being Web 2.0 oblivious to suddenly becoming the Web 2.0 guru within his/her company.

What’s your experience with budgeting for Web 2.0 marketing initiatives?

I wrote a post not too long ago about Twitter Power. Twitter is a micro-blogging tool where the original premise was to have users answer the question: “What are you doing?”  However, like all things Web 2.0, people have taken control of the application and brought it to a whole new level — two snaps and a circle to the peeps!

Today, most people have migrated from answering the original question to leveraging Twitter as a digital thought bubble. It’s almost as if the question should now be: “What are you thinking?” It’s an absolutely fascinating evolution because it defies human limitations and allows people to see what others are thinking at a moment in time. Twistori.com is a great amplification of this evolution. Twistori aggregates global tweets and categorizes them under love, hate, think, believe, feel, and wish. In almost every tweet that scrolls live on the site virtually none of them are in response to Twitter’s original question. Check it out.

Twitter’s digital thought bubble application has never been more profound than by its use by attendees at a conference. At O’Reilly’s recent Web 2.0 EXPO in San Francisco, people twittered during panel discussions. The smart moderators monitored the tweets live and redirected the conversations based on the content of the tweets. Seriously, it was such a trip because it was as if the audience had thought bubbles above their heads and the moderators ability to read their minds (digitally speaking) forced the speakers to be accountable to what the audience wanted to hear. So the moderators would cut speakers off and say things like, “people think this discussion is too much of a sales pitch and want to hear more about x, y and z.”

I think one of the things that makes Twitter’s digital thought bubble so intoxicating is the limitation of 140 characters. People take that limitation and deliver rockstastic content in a single short statement. Generally speaking, most of us have a whole lot of buzz going on in our heads, yet Twitter forces us to communicate what we are thinking in a succinct line. The creativity in people’s tweets is more entertaining than anything else I have experienced in the physical world and it only takes a second of your time. It’s like a quick fix that infuses your world with humor and insight but doesn’t take anything more than a second or two.

If you Twitter, are you sticking with tweets that respond to the original question or are you tweeting what you are thinking?

Check out the absolutely hilarious YouTube video entitled Facebook Reality that my new BFF Ethel Rubenstein, CEO (read: maven) at New York post-production hot shop, Bluerock and Spontaneous sent me. The video takes a typical Facebook experience and has it play out in the real world between three people — the stereotypical obnoxious friend, his idiotic sidekick and the unsuspecting old classmate they hunt down and terrorize through routine Facebook interactions like wall writings, photo tagging, pokes, and status updates. Very clever and exceptionally witty. 

Clearly the despised guy in the clip would be “removed as friend” in a nanosecond if this experience happened regularly on Facebook. However, it definitely gets you thinking about how what is considered acceptable behavior in the Web 2.0 world would be utterly unacceptable in the physical world.

Have you ever had to remove a friend from your Facebook friend list? Come on dish and tell us why.  

Yesterday, I was with someone who I absolutely love having in my life. Great guy who is always an early adopter of the latest and greatest gadgets. He also works at a technology innovation company and travels the world on a regular basis. Others in his life view him as this really technical guy.  

I have been encouraging (read: hounding) him to get on Facebook. I had sent him an email the other day and the signature on the bottom of my email has my contact info for my company website, blog, Facebook, Twitter and Skype. He said to me with a bit of sarcasm and know-it-all tone, “You can’t possibly keep up with all those things.” The funny thing was he actually believed what he was saying as if he had completely busted me in a lie. It was at that moment that I realized he is totally oblivious to the Web 2.0 world. His comment was nothing short of ridiculous coming from someone completely out of touch with a wave that has taken 100+ million people by storm. His statement was as ignorant as if I said to someone, “Cell phone, email, television, computer, iPod…you can’t possible keep up with all those things.” 

Web 2.0 is not a commitment or obligation (like putting out the trash on Thursday mornings because my daughter forgot…again). Web 2.0 is a world I live in and love. Web 2.0 technologies, platforms and tools allow me to stay connected with people in a way that is impossible in the physical world. And unlike physical world connections that often times are scheduled and obligatory, Web 2.0 makes the experience spontaneous, light, fun, and lively. Like most of you readers I have a full (read: chaotic) life. Running a company while juggling the follies of four kids doesn’t leave much disposable time. Web 2.0 doesn’t take more time from my life, instead it enhances my work and family experiences and takes them to a whole new level.

It’s amazing to me that a gadget geek who works at a technology innovation company still remains oblivious to the Web 2.0 world. The good news is this means there are still a ton of people who will most likely join once they realize what they’ve been missing. The more the merrier I always say.

Do you have a Web 2.0 oblivious person in your life?

As a proud Facebook pimp (who is one recruit short of winning a toaster oven), I am often on the receiving end of a lot of questions and/or Facebook faux pas by enthusiastic newbie members. Having made similar violations of accepted, although unwritten, Facebook social rules when I first became a member back in the day, I offer the following advice:

Don’t Write On Your Own Wall: Recently, my 82-year-old aunt sent me a message on Facebook and she was irate that I had told her she shouldn’t write on her own wall, but there was a link under her wall that said “write on your wall.” I patiently explained to her that, “you can write on your own wall and you can walk around naked but I’m not sure you want to do either.” Writing on your own wall is like starting a conversation with yourself. You should write on other people’s walls as a means of communicating. Always remember that unlike Facebook messages which are private, wall posts are public for all to see.

Don’t Poke Someone: The only people who poke are people who just joined Facebook. I remember when I first signed up for Facebook, I immediately poked my three teenagers who didn’t know I had even joined. Later that day, their paths crossed in between classes at school to which they all shared their horror that, “Mom just poked me on Facebook!” While poking is not cool, feel free to add the app SuperPoke! where you can throw a sheep at a friend. Very cool.  

Post An Icon Photo: The quickest way to scream to the world that you are new to Facebook or not someone who uses it much is to not post an icon photo which then means it defaults to a blue question mark. I am constantly amazed at how many people don’t want to post a picture of themselves. If Freud were alive and living in the world of Facebook, I’m sure he would declare that these people all needed therapy due to deep rooted identity issues.

Don’t Use Your Kid’s Photo As Icon Photo:  Again, I’m sure Freud would have a field day with this. While your kids are cute, there is a place for their pictures in your album section on your Facebook profile page. When someone writes something sassy on my wall and there is a photo of a three month old baby next to the post it creeps me out. Enough said.

Don’t Be An App Pimp: If you find a fun application and you think someone else would enjoy it, by all means send it to them. However, you need to really personalize your thinking behind this versus sending it to everyone you know. As an example, anyone who knows me knows I am not really someone who would add the app Send Cupcakes. You also need to know your friend’s Facebook style. I tend to be a minimalist and have a profile page that leans more towards feng shui than “appapalooza.” 

Don’t Friend Poach: Finding someone you know by sourcing them via another person’s friend list is a quick and efficient way to find other friends on Facebook. Going to someone’s friend list and friending everyone on their friend list, most of whom you don’t know, is not cool and referred to as friend poaching. While everyone enjoys watching their number of friends go up, friend poaching is not the way to get there.

Don’t Use Facebook To Spy On Your Kids: I have quite a few friends who use Facebook to spy on their kids and keep tabs on what they’re doing. Bad, bad idea. If your kids have allowed you into their world via Facebook, you need to respect that it is their world and let them live it. This means keeping your mouth shut if you see something that you would find offensive but is really harmless in the big picture. Don’t tell them you don’t like the language their friends use in wall postings and don’t grill them on how they know someone on their friend list from another town. My three teenage kids are all on my Facebook friend list and they have all given me full access — in other words I can see everything on their profiles. I love getting a friends perspective of their world, but I know my bounds. If you can learn to zip it if you see a bunch of them in a photo holding big red keg cups it will be a better experience all around for everyone. If you find yourself ready to pounce I remind you to remember what we all did as teenagers and I think you will find they are angels compared to us. Remember, Facebook was their world long before it became ours.

What Facebook faux pas are you guilty of or have you been on the receiving end of?

This post is part of the blog interview series called “Put the Turd on the Table” which consists of quick email interviews with key players in the media. At the end of the day, the objective is to allow media people to give PR people insight that will help us become more effective and less annoying. Generating a few laughs along the way would be a welcomed bonus. In the spirit of the true essence of the blogosphere, all responses will be posted verbatim without any edits. The series started off with an electric exchange with BusinessWeek’s Sarah Lacy and Forbes’ Dan Lyons (Fake Steve Jobs).

John C. Dvorak is a columnist, author, editor and blogger. Dvorak can be found in PC Magazine, Marketwatch, Info! (Brazil), BUG Magazine (Croatia), and the Dvorak Uncensored blog. Dvorak does a weekly TV video podcast Crankygeeks, a daily Tech podcast Tech5 , the weekly podcasts This Week in Tech (500,000 listeners), and No Agenda with Adam Curry. Dvorak is a featured guest analyst on CNBC. Dvorak has written over 4,000 articles and columns as well as authoring or co-authoring 14 books. You can follower Dvorack along with 13,500+ people (wow!) on Twitter.

The following are Dvorak’s unedited responses to my questions:

1. Things I respond well to:

Dvorak: Really cool new products and exclusive looks at things. I like going to dinner or lunch with the CEO to discuss both the company, it’s products and trends in a relaxed atmosphere.

2. Things that send me over the edge:

Dvorak: Getting this idiot pitch – ”Look at all these people who have written about this. You should too!” To which I always want to respond, “Yeah, so I can look like a lemming. Or the last guy in line.”

3. Favorite horror story about a PR person (no need to name names not trying to out anyone):

Dvorak: The guy who sent bullets in the mail to numerous writers. It looked like a threat and offices were shut down in the process.

4. Favorite Web 2.0 addiction:

Dvorak: None

Media spokespeople and PR people alike know that being quoted out of context happens all the time and it’s maddening. Regardless of the prep work and all the 1:1 media training on the planet, people continue to get quoted out of context. This usually happens for one of two reasons. The first and most common reason is that the journalist simply wasn’t paying attention, therefore didn’t understand the point and got the quote wrong. Contrary to conventional wisdom, most media people don’t get up in the morning, eat their young and go in search of trying to ruin someone’s reputation by quoting them out of context. The second reason is harsher in that some journalists will take a quote out of context in order to sensationalize a story. In the old days this only used to happen in rags like the National Enquirer. Unfortunately, today even well respected media outlets often quote out of context because it sells newspapers/magazines, makes for good television, and starts a firestorm of chatter in the blogosphere. 

I have been continuously irked by an out-of-context quote that Democrats have been using to bash Senator McCain. For the record, I am a bleeding heart liberal. The fact that I am about to defend a Republican means hell just froze over and pigs learned to fly. Regardless, I believe in speaking the truth and holding no cherished outcome. Obama, Clinton, and Dean are all over the airwaves and in print talking about how McCain thinks it’s OK to spend “100 years in Iraq.” Come on people. Get real. While I don’t think McCain is the most qualified Presidential candidate, painting him as an ignorant, heartless lover of wars is absolutely ridiculous.

One second after making the 100 year comment, McCain said in the same breath, “…as long as Americans are not being injured, harmed, wounded or killed.” When you add that really important part of the statement back in, the comment is benign and certainly not newsworthy. Obama, Clinton, and Dean have all been on the receiving end of being quoted out of context. They should know better than to use this tactic (code for “pull this crap”). Clearly two wrongs don’t make a right unless it’s Wright.

Have you ever been impacted by an out-of-context quote?

I’m sure everyone has seen the latest rants of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s former pastor. His actions have caused a media firestorm and the footage and quotes have been plastered across virtually every media outlet over the last twenty-four hours. I find it incredibly painful to watch.

It’s not his message that bothers me as much as his behavior. Wright is wrong for one simple reason — it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Reverend Wright is entitled to his perspective and should be respected for it regardless of how much it may differ from others. However, his inflammatory remarks, condescending tone, accusatory rants, disrespectful vernacular, mocking rhetoric, and holier-than-thou air is where he loses my respect. Because his approach is so inappropriate, his message gets lost. People can only hear his tone and see his behavior and from there they shut down. For the record, I am not an Obama supporter. At the end-of-the-day, I should be squealing in delight at the havoc Wright is wreaking across Obama’s campaign. But I’m not.

In spite of his intelligence, Wright really is one of the most ignorant religious icons of all time. I’m pretty sure we all learned at an early age that you get more bees with honey. Based on his approach, this dude is a wasp stuck in Obama’s bonnet and his self-inflicting wounds are hurting everyone. While there is a difference between “right and wrong” there is clearly no difference between “Wright and wrong.”

How do you feel about Wright’s behavior?

Hard to believe a person whose name is “Kel Kelly” could be half Italian. It’s true. Like most ethnic families, growing up meant lots of family-centric events — think My Big Fat Greek Wedding but Italian style. Everything revolved around my Nana and Papa’s house. My grandparents were straight off the boat from Italy, barely spoke a lick of English, and didn’t have two nickels to rub together, but what they did have was family. And boy did they. They raised ten kids under a single roof of a small house. I loved family get togethers and every Italian stereotype you have ever heard was my world when at Nana’s — plastic covered couch, cheek pinching, meatball pushing, broken English, grapes growing in the backyard and short, round women with aprons hovering over a gas stove.

After my Nana’s death and then my Mom’s, we grew apart from extended family. Life took over and our worlds got busy. People moved. Slowly over time we lost touch with everyone. It was sad. Enter Facebook. Over the last few months, I have started finding relatives and recruiting them to Facebook. I started a Facebook group called “Forced Fuoco Fun” as an online, ongoing family reunion Italian style. Not only have I tracked down relatives from across the country (California, Florida, New York, Colorado, Maine, and more) I have recruited them all to Facebook. This includes my 82-year-old aunt on Cape Cod who thinks you need a passport to go over the Sagamore bridge, so she never does.

The Facebook reunion has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. People are posting photos from 50 years ago, sharing recipes, telling stories, laughing, crying and everything in between. Although Facebook emerged as a social networking tool for college students, it has truly transformed the world well beyond that demographic. It is estimated that 30+% of Facebook’s 60,000,000 members are over the age of thirty. Although I don’t know how many are Italian, I know there are about thirty more now than there were four months ago.

What interesting Facebook connections have you made?

I can’t think of a simpler yet more powerful Web 2.0 application than Twitter. Twitter is a micro-blogging tool where users answer the question: “What are you doing?” Answers cannot be more than 140 characters long. Twitter is used for staying connected with friends. You can track friends’ as-they-happen updates via the web or you can receive mobile updates via text messages. Why would anyone want to do this you ask? I think you can’t fully understand it until you try it. And like most things Web 2.0, it is absolutely addicting. There is something intoxicating about staying connected with people in your world through one line updates. It’s like the perfect buzz. But what I love most about Twitter is the power it wields. CNN ran a story yesterday about the student who secured the help he needed to free himself from an Egyptian jail by Twittering the word ”arrested” from his cell phone as he was being driven to the police station. Twitter was developed by a handful of people in San Francisco’s South Park neighborhood yet managed to save the life of a college student a half a world away. And like most fun and innovative Web 2.0 apps, Twitter is free. Web 2.0…you gotta love it.      

What are you doing?  

Today was opening day at O’Reilly’s Web 2.0 Expo in San Francisco. The place was buzzin’ with all the electric energy associated with this space. I popped in and out of quite a few workshop sessions throughout the day. The diversity in presentation content and presenter effectiveness was astonishing. It is hard to take anything as sizzling hot as Web 2.0 and make it dry and dull, but quite a few managed to hurl themselves over that bar. I think it is worth giving a shout out to Trisha Okubo (Omiru.com) for opening a can of whoop-ass and keeping her audience on the edge of their seats during her blog workshop. That sista’ stole the show. What made Trisha such a standout at a conference filled with a bunch of standouts? Quite simply, she was witty, insightful, relevant, fast-paced and self-effacing — a fantastic mixture of attributes that propelled her presentation into the stratosphere. Anyone who describes themselves as “short with no waist” has more balls than…well you know where I’m going with this point.  

I look forward to the rest of the Expo. If you didn’t make it out to this one, I highly recommend you make it to the Web 2.0 Expo in New York in September.

Any attendees out there who want to share their perspective?

I kinda view Web 2.0 as a big sandbox with a bunch of kids playing in it. The kids include the entrepreneurs, users, investors, traditional media, bloggers, analysts, pr people, and a whole lot of other diversity. I’ve been noticing a lot of name calling lately and it is starting to sound more juvenile than the adolescent bickering you might hear in the playground sandbox. My industry seems to be getting a lot of sand in its eyes. I recently read something posted by a sandbox kid who shall remain nameless due to their cyber-age. This person slammed PR people saying that because our industry was “dying” that we were all scrambling to figure out how to survive in a Web 2.0 world. While it makes for an entertaining post and every bully loves a good pig-pile, you’ve gotta be kidding me. All kids in the sandbox are doing the same thing. The world has changed, Web 2.0 rules and we are all — without exception –adapting our professional roles to ensure our customers benefit most by the services we provide. Last I checked nobody was doing Web 2.0 missionary work and to imply they are is ridonkulous. Heehaw! Venture Capitalists are investing in Web 2.0 companies in hopes of a good return for their investors. Analysts are writing about Web 2.0 because it is smart for their business and their clients need the insight. Traditional media are adding in Web 2.0 components like user-generated content and citizen journalism because it makes them more savvy when it comes to reporting the news and engaging their audience in a way that had never been achieved. PR people are looking to build awareness and association for a client and look to Web 2.0 opps because it’s a very important medium for news/content consumption. I hate to be the one to pop the delusional bubble of many of these bullies, but PR is not going away. Yes, viral is an important opportunity but it will not replace the PR industry. Why? Because noise is noise is noise whether in the physical world or on the internet. Businesses still need to get above the noise and get their message out in an effective way. These companies need to focus on their core competencies, not pitching stories. To assume the blogosphere will spead their message like wildfire in a way that obviates the need for any other marketing/PR is as silly as the name-calling in the sandbox. Will some businesses succeed this way, absoluteley and some of those kids probably are poopoo heads. However, most businesses will not and PR can and will help them.

Can’t we all just get along?

It’s not a good day to be Mark Penn, CEO of PR gorilla Burston Marsteller. Penn is Hillary Clinton’s chief presidential campaign strategist. According to CNN, Penn “met with the Colombian ambassador to the United States earlier in the week in his role as Burston Marsteller’s chief to discuss the pending U.S.-Colombia trade pact, which Clinton has criticized on the campaign trail.” Penn called the meeting “an error in judgment that will not be repeated,” and apologized…and quit his post. As Homer Simpson would say, “D’oh!” Looks like Penn’s statement really pissed off the Colombian government who called the remarks “a lack of respect to Colombians.” 

Dude? (read previous line with the tone of the guy in the Bud Light commercial when he watches his friend get married in Vegas). Seriously. What was this guy thinking? He is a PR titan. He knew better. He watched the Obama campaign get repeatedly bitch-slapped when it was reported that one of his advisers had suggested to a Canadian official that Obama was not really in support of changes to NAFTA (wink, wink). Did Penn get Eliot Spitzer’s advice on this one? What happens to people when they become successful and powerful in their own eyes? What freaky deaky PR person on the planet would go meet with a foreign government in a situation that had explosive potential?  And Dude. Of all people, you ticked off the Colombians. Geeezzz! Could you have picked the Dutch or some other less volatile country?

Yeah, as the CEO of a PR agency, ‘uh I would like to assure my clients I will never meet with any ambassadors or governments without their prior knowledge. This might be a good time to admit I smoked pot and did other drugs in college. Dude…

Did you ever notice how few people comment on blogs? It is estimated that 90%+/- of users are considered “lurkers” and don’t participate in the conversation and only a mere 1% are considered “active participants.” Even some of the most well-read blogs receive a relatively small % of comments. I receive a ton of comments about my blog through emails, phone calls, and face-to-face communication, but very few people post a comment directly on the blog. I am the slightest bit disturbed to learn that many of my audience are considered “lurkers” by orgs like Nielsen, but that’s a conversation for another post. Seriously…why do you suppose this is? Humans love to interact. Do you think the 1% of active users are the people that you can’t get to shut up in the physical world? Or are they the somewhat reserved people who find the blogosphere a safe medium to express opinions? Is there a “blog hump” that we all need to get over? In other words, once you comment once and see you survived the experience, you are more likely to post again. Is it fear based? Since most posts are allowed to be anonymous, I am not sure this is the driving force. Is there such thing as “blog virginity” where users are saving their first time for a special, more meaningful interaction?

What do you think?

This post is part of the blog interview series called “Put the Turd on the Table” which consists of quick email interviews with key players in the media. Truthfully, I’ve been overwhelmed by the responses. At the end of the day, the objective is to allow media people to give PR people insight that will help us become more effective and less annoying. Generating a few laughs along the way would be a welcomed bonus! In the spirit of the true essence of the blogosphere, all responses will be posted verbatim without any edits.

I have no doubt the responses from my next interview will generate a tremendous deal of discussion. Dan Lyons has been a senior editor at Forbes since 1998. He writes the Digital Tools column for the print edition of the magazine. Last August, much to everyone’s surprise, Dan was outed by The New York Times as Fake Steve Jobs, the anonymous blogger using the persona of Apple’s CEO to ― as the NYT put it ― “mercilessly skewer the tech industry, the media, and most of all, Jobs himself.” Dan is the author of Options: The Secret Life of Steve Jobs. He has also published The Last Good Man, an award-winning collection of short stories, and Dog Days, a nasty funny novel set in Boston. Something tells me after this post Dan will be unanimously anointed “Most Loved” by PR people around the world!

The following are Steve…’er I mean Dan’s unedited responses to my questions:

1. Things I respond well to:

Dan: I’m all about relationships. I want to get to know you, and maybe even love you, before I use and degrade you. I like a sense of humor. Long walks on the beach. I also respond very well to Sarah Lacy of BusinessWeek, though I’m afraid she does not respond so well to me.

2. Things that send me over the edge:

Dan: I must be the only hack who doesn’t hate PR people. Honestly, I always hear these stories about reporters flipping out about something some PR person did; and I always think the reporter seems like an idiot. Who cares about some tiny perceived slight or little mistake like not knowing my exact beat or my name and title? Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick.

I’ve got a lot of friends who work in PR and honestly I’ve heard way worse stories from them about what they have to deal with when contacting the filthy grubby media whores like me. For example, I just read Sarah Lacy’s answers to your questions and I’m appalled. Who the Christ does this woman think she is? Folks, let me assure you, we’re not all as obnoxious and egomaniacal as Sarah. Although, sadly, I must admit that too many filthy hacks are, in fact, just that horrible. My general sense is that obnoxiousness among hacks is inversely proportional to their actual importance. Ergo, the least important hacks have the most attitude. For a hilarious and extreme example, check out the website of the Internet press guild (http://www.netpress.org/), a tremendous bunch of absolute losers (you really must check out their photos, see here: http://www.netpress.org/roster.html) and then check out their preposterous guide for PR people to follow (see here: http://www.netpress.org/careandfeeding.html). Can you imagine the balls on these fools? They’re lucky anyone ever calls them at all, for anything. Who the frig do these filthy hacks think they are? Get over yourselves, you morons. You’re a hack at some newspaper or magazine, not a CEO or a celebrity. Guess what. The whole world doesn’t follow your every little move, you self-centered, self-important retard. You’re a hack. Okay? You’re not the subject of the story. You’re not the one who did the cool stuff. You’re the poor bastard who writes about the people who do the cool stuff. Get a friggin grip.
 
Folks in PR, on behalf of everyone in my so-called “profession,” let me offer a profound apology to each and every one of you hardworking PR people who have to put up with us. We’re horrible. I’m sorry. And you’re just trying to make a living. I know that. Same for me. My feeling is, let’s all be friends. If you
pitch me a story and I can’t use it, no problem. I’ll tell you. No big deal. So call me. Or send email. Don’t worry about not knowing that I live in Boston, or getting my name wrong. It’s Dan, but Dave or David are close enough. Some people call me “Daniel” because that’s what my byline says and you know what? That’s okay too. So please get in touch. Seriously. I’m just sitting here waiting for the phone to ring. Not really. Don’t just call. Send email first. Okay? We square? 

3. Favorite horror story about a PR person (no need to name names – not trying to out anyone):

Dan: There is a certain PR guy at Waggener Edstrom who made a bet with me and lost and is supposed to make a video of himself dancing on a desk. I’m still waiting. Typical Microsoft. Say one thing, do another. I realize this is not really a horror story. I’m sorry. It’s the best I can do.

4. Favorite Web 2.0 addiction:

Dan: I have 2 Facebook accounts (one for me, one for Fake Steve) but I never check them anymore. Too much work and who has the time? I guess I would say that I’m clean and sober when it comes to Web 2.0 addictions.

Do you think Dan is alone in his turdless perspective?

It’s no secret that many people in the PR industry drive media people crazy. I am starting a blog interview series called “Put the Turd on the Table.” I plan to do quick four question email interviews with key media personalities. At the end of the day, the objective is to allow media people to give PR people insight that will help us become more effective and less annoying. Generating a few laughs along the way would be a welcomed bonus!

I am totally stoked that Sarah Lacy will be my first featured media personality. You would have to have lived under a rock to not know Sarah, but for those rock dwellers I offer the following reminder — Sarah Lacy has been a business reporter for 10 years, most recently covering technology for BusinessWeek. Her book, Once You’re Lucky, Twice You’re Good: The Rebirth of Silicon Valley and the Rise of Web 2.0 (click here to preorder), will be published by Gotham Books in May, 2008. She is also Silicon Valley host of Yahoo Finance’s Tech Ticker.

The following are Sarah’s unedited responses to my questions:

1. Things I respond well to:

Sarah: someone who knows my name (hint: it’s not lucy or stacy), knows where i work, what i cover, where i LIVE, (please stop with the “so-and-so is going to be in new york next week…” pitches. my column for businessweek is CALLED VALLEY GIRL and i broadcast for yahoo OUT OF SUNNYVALE), and what i would realistically write about. seriously, it’s not rocket science people. if i call a CEO or a venture capitalist for a meeting, i always get their name right and know what they do for a living, and where they stand on things. i takes about 10 minutes of good internet research. i would never expect someone to take time from their busy day to help me do my job if i got their name wrong. you shouldn’t either. this is why journalists hate you. and this has happened to me several times a day for the last ten years. these are not isolated incidents. maybe you haven’t done it, but look around you. odds are someone sitting on either side of you has. maybe both of them.

2. Things that send me over the edge:

Sarah: see above for most of it. but another thing is insisting on calling someone who has asked you repeatedly to send pitches by email. again, why you want to purposely piss off a reporter you are trying to pitch is beyond me. 

3. Favorite horror story about a PR person (no need to name names – not trying to out anyone):

Sarah: several times someone has sent me a pitch “introducing me” to a client that i’ve known for years and just written a huge story on. i don’t understand how something that unprofessional happens. you don’t have to read all my stories, but um, maybe the ones i write about your client? there is also one firm in the bay area that i advise every single company to stay away from at all costs. i’ve caught them in a lot of lies over the years. all this other stuff is just unprofessional, but lying is unethical and stupid, because reporters are paid to dig out the truth. 

4. Favorite Web 2.0 addiction:

Sarah: it changes a lot, but these days it’s twitter